Microsoft announces new Chief Accuracy Officer, Jack Handey
Mr. Handey has released a statement:
Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers?
"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.”
Oh shit, I always thought it was a fictional name that the writers used for the random stuff that come up during the writing process. Didn’t know it was a real person!
“Hmm. I wonder. I was thinking of dancing trees. Now I’m wondering what’s next. Screaming trees. Yeah. That’s got to be the answer. Screaming trees.” - private notes by Hans Reiser, filesystem designer and a convicted murderer
(OK, that’s a fake quote. This one is real:)
“Trees have their roots pointing up. And if you cut a tree apart, you get a forest. No, I’m not drunk.” - one of my computer science profs, on data structures
Microsoft announces new Chief Accuracy Officer, Jack Handey
Mr. Handey has released a statement:
"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.”
“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”
-Jack Handy
That’s a brilliant quote
Jack Handey was an SNL writer, “Deep Thoughts” was a series of one-liners that aired between sketches in the early 90s.
Loved finding out he was a real person and was a legendary writer.
Oh shit, I always thought it was a fictional name that the writers used for the random stuff that come up during the writing process. Didn’t know it was a real person!
Holy shit, he created Toonces!
This has completely changed everything I ever held dear and holy.
I always thought handy was a Hartman character and was him reading.
To find out it was neither Hartman’s character nor his voice is … everything was a lie.
Hartman did the intro.
SNL had a bunch of absolutely legendary writers. Jim Downey is another one
His books are also fun, The Stench of Honolulu was good, the opposite of a hard-boiled PI.
“Hmm. I wonder. I was thinking of dancing trees. Now I’m wondering what’s next. Screaming trees. Yeah. That’s got to be the answer. Screaming trees.” - private notes by Hans Reiser, filesystem designer and a convicted murderer
(OK, that’s a fake quote. This one is real:)
“Trees have their roots pointing up. And if you cut a tree apart, you get a forest. No, I’m not drunk.” - one of my computer science profs, on data structures
Ah yes Mr Engineer my impression of this structural assembly is it’s okay but could be really better over there. No need for a second impression.
Everyone would be a lot happier, that’s all I’m saying.