Thanks for your insight, fartsparkles.

The name mastodon literally means “breast tooth,” referring to the the “nipple”-shaped bumps along the top edges of these animals’ teeth.

I’ve never heard of such a thing, on any computer. Though HP would be that shitty. Sounds like something fishy with your UEFI, you ever update your bios?

I used to do this like 30 times a day sometimes (HP, Dell, Lenovo, Asus), never had an issue with boot menus. The ONLY problem I’ve ever encountered was an external boot triggering bit locker, and locking me out.

What you’ve described is a hell I’ve never experienced, but def does not sound like standard operating procedure.

Sorry I was so late to the game. I used to work computer repair, always had a Linux stick to boot into, and changed it up every couple of weeks.

Always something fresh, it was fun seeing all the different distros. You can also make a Linux USB stick with persistent storage and install apps and save settings. In my experience those tend to shit the bed after a few weeks.

Another option that’s one step above a USB stick, is an m.2 enclosure. I had those with dual boot, windows and Ubuntu. I could plug that into anyone’s computer, boot the external drive and rule out hardware problems with ease.

The m.2 enclosures are almost indistinguishable from an internal drive, made it so I could boot into my own setup on any machine.

I would recommend reinstalling windows, because the activation key is still on the mobo, and you might as well use it. Then you can fuck around with dual boot, and try all sorts of Linux distros.

You can even put them on a USB stick and side load, without installing anything at all. This is great for testing, until you find one you like and pull the trigger on a dual boot setup.

I used to pull the product key stickers off parts we bought at my old job. Laptop bottom cover, with free windows 7 key. Every computer in my house is running Windows 11 pro, activated with a Windows 7 key, that was otherwise just going to get thrown away.

I DO have giant mutant hands, and I still have to reposition to reach the top of the screen with any accuracy.