Godot.

“Would you recommend this to a parallel universe instance of yourself in a similar situation, who is not yet decided on a purchase?”

Haha you’re right, it probably doesn’t really apply to most things. I do get asked what I recommend more than the average person because my friends and family know I research purchases too much. I hate buying junk.

This is good. I would consider adding “Would you recommend to a friend” but that may be redundant given what you have already.

My favorite is the one star review when it’s a shipping issue. “Look at this, the box is ripped!”

I think the decentralized but moderated review network is the most important part. I like the idea of local shop keepers with specialized knowledge (I’m thinking of my local goto kitchen store) or just online experts (like the folks at whathifi). I like to research a bit (a lot really) before I decide what to buy and a resource like this would be invaluable. Finding it locally after deciding what to buy can be an issue (especially if you are not in the US), but this aspect could be separate, as is shipping.