Femdom does not need to include humiliation or degradation. As a more submissive guy I enjoy femdom as I dont like to be the one in control, and thats about it. I dont enjoy humiliation or degradation particilarly and if my partner wouldnt respect my boundaries I wouldnt enjoy it.

As for why people have those kinks, well, why does anyone have kinks or fetishes? Its just what turns them on. If you enjoy being humiliated or being degraded by your partner in the bedroom, why not? And on the note of pain play some people enjoy a little playful pain and others dont.

Also to note, femdom in porn is usually pretty extreme. Finding anything without degradation, humiliation or CBT is probably harder than vice versa.

i reckon they think it’s hot

Pretty much all kinks work the same way, and only differ in their mode of expression.

Think rollercoasters, think extreme sports, think lighting cigars with a $100 bill.

You can’t even get out of bed without your nagging, nannying hindbrain chaperoning you everywhere you go. Don’t do that, it might hurt. Don’t do that, it’s not safe. Don’t do that, you won’t be in control. Don’t do that, you won’t be in charge. Don’t do that, you might lose prestige. Don’t do that, you’ll go without.

Some people get a kick out of telling it to go fuck itself, and deliberately doing all the bad and scary things just to troll it into a conniption so they can laugh at it.

And in doing so, they also gain this huge dumbo’s-magic-feather rush, realising they never needed all those safeguards; the essential security and confidence is something that comes from within. And so rather than feeling oppressed by it, it becomes something they can revel in.

And when you mix up any strong sensation or emotion with sex, both things are going to amplify each other.

Way over generalization below but some examples.

Neurodivergent - Explore other gender identities (feminization).

Prostate orgasms - New ways to cum (Pegging, bi, bi-cuckold).

Dealing with trauma (taking control) - Cheating (cuckold), smaller gentiles (chastity), cheating (cuckold), forced acts (bdsm).

Persons making decisions all day - Vaca from having to decide (FLR).

Disabilities (partner) - Let her take control.

Porn addicts thinking its easy sex - Mommy Dom, Findom.

There are many forms of femdom. Idk why other men like those things you mentioned. But sometimes it is pleasurable to be the sub for a change. Lol. Personally getting stepped on, spit on, chastity are not as pleasurable. I like getting tied up tho from my wife. The other stuff is weird.