Femdom does not need to include humiliation or degradation. As a more submissive guy I enjoy femdom as I dont like to be the one in control, and thats about it. I dont enjoy humiliation or degradation particilarly and if my partner wouldnt respect my boundaries I wouldnt enjoy it.

As for why people have those kinks, well, why does anyone have kinks or fetishes? Its just what turns them on. If you enjoy being humiliated or being degraded by your partner in the bedroom, why not? And on the note of pain play some people enjoy a little playful pain and others dont.

Also to note, femdom in porn is usually pretty extreme. Finding anything without degradation, humiliation or CBT is probably harder than vice versa.

Not a lady but I have said those exact words straight up to my SO. Which she just laughed at. Im horrible at bringing up anything regarding the topic, everything i say instantly turns awkward. Idk, ive always been bad with conveying feelings and handling other people expressing emotions. Might just have a hint of <insert diagnosis here> or something.