• Thrower@lemmynsfw.com
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    14 hours ago

    Drunk sex is either sexual abuse or totally fine depending on the situation.

    If you want drunk sex with your partner in a way and at a moment that isn’t unusual and there is no reason for them to be currently not in the mood, it is probably fine. if you talked with them about going out drinking and fucking around later, and after drinking, they express that they still want, it is probably fine. Basically if sex is part of your relationship and you have good reason to assume that your partner would want to sleep with you in a sober state and your partner expresses the same desire while drunk, it is probably fine. But you should really talk about that boundary beforehand. Ask them if you can take a drunk yes as a yes, while they are sober!!!

    Random hook-up? I would argue, even if your partner was happy afterwards and would want to see you again, you did something really bad. as social norms are, I don’t think you have to be a bad person but you did something stupid and did something really bad and you should stop now. There is no reasonable way to evaluate whether or not the consent was the result of a altered state of mind. You want to have a sex with a person who can’t really consent and you don’t have a prior agreement, you have no reason to assume the drunk person will not wake up and feel raped. You might don’t think it is rape as they said yes, when they are drunk, but for them, they got raped. That is their experience. That is their reality. Sex might be fun but I really don’t want to be the worst day in some else’s life. They deserve better. I deserve better. If you know the risk that your partner might experience it as rape, and you don’t care, you are effectively a rapist. If that person wants to fuck you and can consent, they will contact you when they are sober, when you give them your number and tell them that you would love to but you wanted to make sure that they actually consent.

    With prior agreement and if a reasonable assumption can be made that the agreement is still valid, I think in the current social norm it is fine. Just to be clear, if you got the agreement a month ago and you guys haven’t done anything at all, I would argue that you should stay away as people don’t always keep you posted on how they feel about you. If you have received general consent to have drunk sex and you fucked last night, went out partying together and get home together, and then you have the same kind of sex as the night before, it is fair to assume that their yes would have been a yes if they were sober. When in doubt, don’t

  • DancingBear@midwest.social
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    2 days ago

    Drunk enough to know who I am and kiss me how I love to be kissed and arch that back the way I like it but drunker than that no fun

  • RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.com
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    2 days ago

    Absolutely clear minded, stone sober sex is my favorite, I’ve never really enjoyed it as much while drunk or on any drugs except for one time coming down from LSD had an amazing time but I think that was an outlier.

    Generally speaking I prefer to feel everything, and I feel it better when starting out clear of mind. And awake, though again, one exception - one time my ex caught me at exactly the right level of sleepiness, I felt like all the inessential layers of personality had been peeled back and it was amazing, relaxed but so intense.

  • Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    It can be fun with a partner you’re close to. But as a bloke I’ve had a few times when I couldn’t get hard - there’s other stuff you can do to make it fun for your partner but it’s frustrating when you really want to fuck!

    Sex on the tail end of an acid trip can be amazing. And sniffing amly nitrate together while in the act is incredible, especially with someone you love. Actually TBH whatever you’re doing it’s usually better with someone you love, at least IMO.

  • SluttySalamander@lemmynsfw.com
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    2 days ago

    It just makes me feel less so I’m not really a fan. I think maybe for people who aren’t as sex-positive as me it might help with inhibitions but I don’t usually have a problem with those 😅

  • Klnsfw 🏳️‍🌈@lemmynsfw.com
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    2 days ago

    As far as I’m concerned, no sex in an altered state of consciousness.

    I admit, it’s not a very cool point of view and I’m sure that 99% of the time, there’s no problem and it must be fun. But I don’t want to miss the 1% where my partner isn’t in a state to consent and I’m not in a state to understand it

    • Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Yeah, this is really important. It’s less of a consideration with a partner and you’re comfortable with each other, and your partner instigates things, but with someone you’ve just met you want to feel entirely sure they’re into it. I’ve never really been into casual sex so it’s not been a big issue for me. There have been a couple of occasions where I’ve had to say no because I’ve felt that the other person was too hammered to really consent, even though they were keen. Besides, who wants to get with someone who wouldn’t be into it if they weren’t drunk? Only a rapist.